Day 33: Threw away socks

Give me a break, it was a slow Monday. I needed to make room in my underwear drawer for all my holey underwear with big splits down the seat. When I save up money for new underwear, they're gone too.
That reminds me of a joke:

'Simple Simon: Hey, these underwear with holes in them are my church underwear.'
Pieman: 'Why would you wear those underwear to church? They're full of holes.'
Simple Simon: 'Exactly, they're Holy Underwear!'
Pieman: 'Good grief!!!'

These socks were worthless. Some had the elastic all stretched out so they drooped down my leg, some were stained with blood, some had holes in the heel so my heel stuck to the bottom of my shoe. None of them had holes in the toe, cause as soon as that happens they're gone, they don't even make it back to the drawer. (I do launder them before I throw them away, because if I was a trash man I wouldn't want to have to mess with someone's nasty, stank ass socks.)

I can't stand when a sock has a hole in the toe, because the feeling of my toe sticking through the hole and touching the inside of my shoe makes me SQUIRM. Literally SQUIRM.

I looked at those socks and I said, 'Bad news: you missed the cut, adios, sayanora, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.'

Now there's more room in my drawer, and I simplified my life.



The socks above look yellow for some reason. They were dingy, but not that bad. Look at the damn holes in the heels, and how the middle of the ankle is wider than the hole (what do you call the opening in a sock?). If I wore these I'd look like some idiot.

You can see the problem with these, look how damn dumb and stretched out they are. Those things would be drooping around my ankles in NO time. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I could have donated them to the Salvation Army to be a stocking for a needy family, but I wouldn't wish these pathetic stockings on even the neediest family.