Day 83: Went to Alpha Ridge Park

It's a park, whaddya want. I sat there in a camp chair and wiped my nose on my gloves and watched a baseball game for three hours, Whaddya want?

Day 82: Visited Carl's Little House

This could almost be a dining blog, cause lots of 'em are about what and where I ate junky food.

I had to park about a million miles away from Cangden Yards 'cause it was opening day and all the fairweather fans and Yankee fans were there taking all the parking. I could have parked in one garage but it was asking for $30 and I said "FUCK th*t."

The good part about the spot I found was that it was totally FREE, there were still plenty of spaces near it, and NO parking tickets. Also it was near this Carl's Little House place, which I found to be a real gem when we stopped in after the game.

There were a few alchys in there, but they seemed to be the harmless, 'let me tell you about my glory days and the good old days of Baltimore' types, not the 'let me stab you with a knife' types.

When my party walked in there a few other young gentrified Oriole fans walked in there and one of them bought a round of shots, including three for me and my two brothers. Problem was he couldn't pay up. He wanted to pay credit and they didn't accept. He started pitching a fit about how they didn't accept credit and walked around the corner to find an ATM. No one smacked a pool cue over the nape of his neck so it seemed like a pretty easygoing place. Eventually his buddy had to pay for his shots and I had to pay for our three shots.

The place had an old timey jute box (not Internet) and a pool table. (I won my game with Philip with a sick square shot.)

They also had good food for very good prices. I had a bacon cheeseburger which was a special with fries for like $5.75 or something. I also ordered Pizza Fries to share ($2.75 for a generous portion.) Speaking of To Share, Mark ToShare-Uh sucked. And some people are like: 'you shouldn't boo him, you would have taken the extra $20 million too!' Yeah, but if I took the xtra $20 million I would have realized the price was getting my ass booed off in Baltimore.

Beers were $1.75 each or something? Or maybe $2.50? I forget. They said their cheese steaks were the real winner, and we didn't even order those. I may have to go back to try one at my next O's game. All in all it was a good 'ol O's bar.

Day 81: Got two for five turkey subs from Royal Farms

Their turkey subs were really skinny for some reason, almost like a hot dog. Royal Farms! Royal Farms!

Day 80: Went to the new Nats stadium

They had a place called the Red Porch where you could drink a Home Run Draught.

Day 79: Lifted a phone booth from a 7-11

It looks kind of like this but it said 7-11 on it.

It's not stealing if it was next to the dumpster. That's just called taking trash. We were still sneaky about it though. Now it's just sitting out back. Not sure what to do with it. (PICTURE COMING!!!)

Day 78: Watched guys burgle one of those clothes donation dumpsters

You know those things that look like dumpsters that say 'World Peace Donations' or 'Donate your clothes here for worlds of peace for the needy'?

I saw three guys standing around one with a laundry basket and the laundry basket was full of clothes. I know what you're thinking: 'oh he's racist (even though I never even said they were chinese), maybe they were just donating clothes to it, or maybe they worked for 'worlds for needy donations peace'.

Well, here's how I knew they were burgling it: it was 12:30 a.m., and one of the guys was halfway in it with his legs dangling out of the slot where you dump the shit in.

OK, if you were really a devils advocate you could say: 'maybe they went there to donate, and he actually donated his car keys or something that he didn't mean to donate and he was just getting it back.'

Oh come on...

Day 77: Visited with these guys